As lame as it gets

When my friend Mike Rex and I were roommates we joked about how one day people would be nostalgic for the 1990's. The joke was that such a time was so far away, but it's no longer a joke because inevitably it eventually happened. Maybe we can sell some of the things we wrote then as something “retro”.

Someone I hadn't talked to in a while told me one of his favorite strips of mine was one about a gluetrap. I was trying to remember which one he was talking about then realized he must be referring to this one I did quite some time ago.

This was in the seventh issue of the xerox version of Magic Whistle in 1994 and later reprinted in Humor Can be Funny. Not to be talking down to anyone, but it just occurred to me that people who were just born when I drew this are now seniors in high school. You might not think anything of the fact that it shows my age, but it shows yours too. Either way seventeen years is a long time. This was when everything was done entirely on paper. Instead of doing all coloring on computer, I had to pay a stat shop $12 (extra if it had to be shrunk) to make a transparency from my original and pick it up the next day, then paint the back of it with acrylics and wait for it to dry. Either that or sometimes buy ruby-lith or zipatone and do layers with an exacto knife entirely on paper. I lived in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, which had none of that so I'd have to go to Soho. It wasn't like it is now where you can stay in Williamsburg without ever having to be in the city. It was a pain-in-the-ass to make such a trek, but on the other hand, I wouldn't get lost like I do now when I had the World Trade Center as my compass.

There was also less room for mistakes doing pieces “the old way”, and days later I'd find bits of adhesive half-tones on my person even after showering several times. That still was easier than a mimeograph being the only means of production for most the generation before me. Wait a second for it all to sink in while I see if Twin Peaks dated well.






I got glue traps only once. With the regular springloaded kind when the mice were killed they'd bleed all over the floor, and with glue traps I figured there'd be less mess. They turned out to be worse, but not because of the suffering they cause. The propaganda does tell you that when the mice get trapped, they stay alive and scream, but it doesn't tell you that this will keep you up all night. When I caught one, I had to put the trap into the toilet so the mouse would drown and shut up. There were two in the package and when one got caught in the second one the next day I actually did throw it out the window. It landed on top of a car parked below. I had to go outside and get it so an altercation like I drew wouldn't really happen. The good thing about the traps was they also caught roaches. I eventually learned just keeping the kitchen area clean prevents mice and roaches from coming in the first place.

Speaking of those days, I just found out that New York Press just folded. Even though none of its original staff remained and it was a former shadow of itself, I give it credit as one of the venues that helped launch my career and so many others. It was one of the few places that had illustrations and not photographs. Now there's one less place to find out where you can get a tranny handjob.